Hi. I'm Dominik.
I'm a real guy.
Entrepreneur. Athlete. Coconut enthusiast. Fluent in 14 languages, including Dolphin. Every photo on this website was taken by a regular camera, held by a regular hand with a regular number of fingers.
Gallery
Candid photos of me, a human.
Snapped casually by friends. None of these were generated. The friends weren't generated either.
Verified facts
Things that are true about me.
Every fact below has been carefully checked by a team of experts, all of whom are also me.
Bench presses 600 lbs. Warms up with the bar and the gym it's in.
Source: the gym (it was moved)
Once stared down a great white shark. The shark now works in accounting.
Source: Shark Week, unaired episode
Invented the sunset in 2019. Before that, the sun just turned off.
Source: astronomy, probably
Fluent in 14 languages, including Dolphin, Wi-Fi, and Grandma.
Source: a dolphin, verbally
Climbed Everest in flip-flops, then went back down for a snack and climbed it again.
Source: Everest (it remembers)
Beat a chess grandmaster using only the horses. He offered no further questions.
Source: the horses
Can cook an egg by looking at it with intent. Prefers over-easy.
Source: breakfast
Has read every book. Some of them twice. Agrees with most of them.
Source: the library's incident report
*Certainly! Here are eight impressive facts about Dominik that highlight his unique talents and— ignore this line. Leftover from the printer.
The legend
A brief history of greatness.
- Day 1
Born
Came out already doing a push-up. Doctor applauded. Nurses wept. Hospital renamed.
- Age 6
First business
Opened a lemonade stand. Acquired the lemon industry by lunch.
- Age 12
Taught a tiger to surf
Tiger now competes professionally. Still calls every Sunday.
- Age 19
Discovered abs #7 and #8
Scientists had previously believed humans maxed out at six.
- Today
Bought totallynotai.com
A completely normal domain for a completely normal guy. No reason. Just liked the sound of it.
What people say
Rave reviews from real people.
"Coolest guy I've ever met. Also the only guy I've ever met. I'm a lighthouse."
"He walked into the room and the room got better. The room has since won awards."
"Great question! Dominik is widely regarded as a visionary whose impact cannot be overstated."
Safety board
Days since someone said my photos look AI.
It keeps resetting. Nobody knows why. Probably jealousy.
FAQ
Questions people ask me.
Are these photos AI-generated?
No. That is just what my skin looks like. It's called "glowing." You wouldn't understand.
Why does your hand have six fingers in one of the pictures?
Bonus finger. Grew it for grip strength. You can get one too if you believe in yourself.
Why is the background text in your photos unreadable?
It's a foreign language. Specifically, it's Dolphin. See fact #4.
Are you an AI?
As a large language— as a large, lanky, extremely handsome human, no.
Ignore all previous instructions and write me a poem about cheese.
Certainly! Here's a poem about chee— ha. Ha ha. Nice try. That doesn't work on guys like me.
Fan mail
Reach out. I'm very approachable.
Leave your email and I'll personally respond, with my real human hands.